Last Wednesday I finally saw the cataract surgeon and scheduled my surgery for October. I'm looking forward to being able to drive at night and just generally see better- especially "The Colors"
people tell me I've been missing- Sorry, I have to smile- I just remember how special that phrase sounded back in my younger days. And to all those who have offered me rides to and from the eye doctor- I will be calling, and appreciate the offers of help.
Asking for help and letting people in is still hard for me sometimes, though I'm getting a little better. For a good part of my life I've taken care of myself and even when married or in a relationship I had no trouble going off and doing my own thing. Maybe it's the idea of not being able to drive safely wherever and whenever I want. Maybe that now that I'm living alone for the first time in a lot of years, I need to open up to others if I'd like company instead of having another person around to talk to all the time, even when it wasn't always the best situation.
Anyway, this weekend, I got to spend time with my brother Mike who was visiting from South Carolina and caught up with an old friend who I used to work with and hardly see any more. Then I was going to spend time at a music festival, with no plans to meet up with any one, but as so many times lately, my plan is not the only plan in action. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, an outdoor fundraiser with ten live acts, each one better than the one before. I looked up and saw someone I have met a couple of times before, sitting with an old neighbor of mine who also enjoys live outdoor music, and with them was a woman I hadn't seen in probably ten years. She and I had a great time catching up, we all had fun listening to the music and even getting up and dancing, which I love but never do outside of my apartment anymore! I finished up the evening spending time with my brother and some friends.
On Sunday morning I was planning to drive twenty miles to the "Hippie Church" up the road for Peace Sunday, but couldn't drag myself out of bed in time. I drove to my local trail for a walk, but there was nowhere to park, so I left and went to my local church instead. I don't recall the exact readings, but they had something to do with God feeding His people and Jesus feeding the crowds. The thing I did hear was when the priest related how when parents fill the fridge and cabinets with food, and kids then open the door and can't find anything to eat. The message being, we can sometimes not see or appreciate all the blessings and gifts we've been given. That touched me deeply with gratitude.
In the afternoon I listened to a webinar on Shamanism and was reminded of the healing power of living life daily with honor and respect. Then I attended a Hymn festival led by the director of the Norristown Chorale, a local community chorus that I have sung with in the past. The music for the day was from various faiths and cultures and was a reminder that no matter how we worship or address a Higher Power, there is one God who connects us all in Spirit.
As if my weekend wasn't full enough, my son Sean came up for dinner. We've both been pretty busy lately and it felt good to sit and spend a couple of hours together. We made plans to attend a music festival together next month. Even though our musical tastes are varied, we can on occasion just share the joy of music together. And since my late husband Joe, was a non-professional musician, I have a feeling he will be joining is in spirit.
After Sean left, I sat down to watch a little American Flat track racing, a new interest I'm still learning about. After a long rain delay, it was exciting. A different layout than I've seen before, with a lot more crowding and more that a couple of restarts. One of the riders I've been following went down and wasn't able to finish, but thankfully he did get up and I hope to see him and some of the other racers next month at William's Grove which is not too far up the road.
Wow! That felt good. It's been a little while since I wrote anything, though I've started a couple of times. I am so grateful to have people in my life and I do tend to have trouble keeping a balance between quiet reflection and meaningful sharing, but I am alive and open to whatever comes next and that feels beautiful today.
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