As I sit here on labor day morning at my sister Mary's "cabin" at the shore, I can't help but reflect on our family. When we were growing up my sister was known as Little Mary to differentiate her from my Mom, also named Mary. A couple of our uncles still called her Little Mary until they passed, even though she was well into retirement age and a good six inches taller than my Mom.
We lived with my Mom's mother, Carmella for as long as I can remember. I don't recall Dad living with us but he must have moved out before I started first grade because I know Grandmom took me to register for school. Living with her meant we always had family around. My Mom was the fifth of nine siblings that I knew, though a couple brothers and a sister died years before. Sunday afternoons were a reason for family dinners with aunts, uncles and cousins that lived nearby and holidays were occasion for the whole family to gather. Grownups would eat in shifts in the dining room while the smaller children ate at the kitchen table.
That was then, and over the years family members passed away or moved away but the connections continued, thanks to the Marys. For years my Mom kept track of everyone's birthdays and would send cards to all her sisters and brothers and her nieces and nephews and their children. For the little ones she used to but a dollar bill in the card because though there were a lot of grands and great grands by then, she knew kids like to open an envelope with money. (For her ninetieth birthday a lot of them gave her a card with a dollar - there was more than 90!) She carried on with annual holiday dinners, especially Christmas Eve. About ten years ago she moved from the old family home to live with Mary, where the Christmas Eve tradition continues
For many years Aunt Vivian would rent a space at the shore for the family to gather. I was there a few times when I was younger, but stopped when I got out of my teens. I have heard from her and my Mom some wonderful stories of the yearly trips to Wildwood and Stone Harbor. Now it's just Mary and Vivian left of the original nine.
As we got older, my sister would connect with some of our cousins to organize family reunions which gave us a way to stay in touch with family that might have moved away or otherwise lost touch. She regularly talks with a lot of cousins that I don't see anymore. Over twenty years ago she bought her own little piece of the shore in Wildwood and a few years later I did the same. After ten years, I sold mine so I could afford to retire but Mary has kept hers. Though now it's offshore a bit, it's her place at the beach. She continues to enjoy making memories with her family.
She and Mom were considering coming down for Labor Day weekend, but Mom is now 98 and doesn't enjoy the trip like she used to. So I'm here thanks to Mary's kindness. And as I sit here I wonder what will become of the connections of our family when the Marys are gone. Mom and Vivian are in their nineties and it's not easy for them to get together, though they talk on the phone often.
They have given us, through stories and memories, a picture of our family that I would guess we each carry with us. I thank them for showing us the way and I thank my sister Mary for all she does for Mom, me and our family.
