Lines from an old Pink Floyd song...
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death
What a week - I attended a Concert of Australian Pink Floyd a few nights ago with my son, Sean for his birthday, and had a blast! They sang the song- Time. The lines: "And then one day you find ten years have got behind you No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun" remind me that life is flying by. And because I'm not accustomed to being out late having fun I was all wound up and couldn't fall asleep at my regular time and then slept in past feeding time for my rather well-regulated cats. Yes, my next day was thrown off and it felt delicious to sleep in and just go off routine. Retirement had been pretty much unscheduled until I started my part-time job that takes up about 25 hours of my week and I find myself wishing for more free time which will come when I've gotten caught up money-wise.
Last night I went to Dinner and Bingo with my Mom and sister and a few other family members and as usual didn't win at bingo, but enjoyed the food and company. Anyway, when I got home afterwards and checked my mail I found an announcement for the 50 year reunion of my High School class. I mean I know it was that long ago that I was eighteen and I went to the Atlantic City Pop Festival and missed out on Woodstock. I know that I have had a full life of love and laughter and sorrows and growth. But somehow a Fiftieth High School Reunion notice makes me stop and feel old if only for a moment.
I guess when I was young, the thought of old people getting together to reminisce about their youth made me feel sad, but as I've been living the days I have not noticed the years going by. Even though I retired from my career in nursing after forty- one years and moved into a Senior Apartment Community for the cheaper rent a couple years ago, I don't consider myself old. There are people living here who are younger than me in age and yet look so much older, and my downstairs neighbor is a ninety-eight year old WWII POW Veteran who still drives. Age and time are basically words that I don't generally think about too much.
So I don't really think much about getting old or running out of time, I mean who does unless we are dealing with our own illness or limitations on a daily basis. Even when I was working as a nurse or living with a sick or dying husband, I did not consider my own aging or mortality. Yet, a notice for a fifty year reunion, that I knew was approaching, made me stop and catch my breath.
Maybe that's also why I got upset when I walked into the shop at work after a run the other day and a somewhat younger co-worker announced "we have to behave" and when I asked why, she replied "Mama Jackie's here". I was shocked and hurt because while I might be the oldest woman there by maybe five years, I am not the oldest driver and I don't think of my self as anybody's Mama. Still it threw me off my balance for a good hour or so to think that I'm seen by my co-workers as an old lady.
On the other hand this summer has been and continues to be fun and busy with road trips and walks and get-togethers and September will be a busy month as well. So as long as I'm still standing and still moving I will likely not notice the years going by if I keep living the days.
